I officially wasted half the day.
Cause i jus woke up and nice its 6.30pm
Slept from 6.30 am till 6.30pm

Pro

Anyway i had a great dream.....
If only it can happen in real life.
IF.

Fuck i need a hp

Woah i give up man
I'm now sick
I think i need a proper rest alr

Sry ed today i cant meet wit u to study. Tmr ya

Hahaha DaN Ytd raelly had a hell of a time wit u man!

I will nvr go to macs study alr! And hey pls learn to tolerate heat!
Cause of u i wasted like 5bucks on taxi fare! LoL pool at 1am was fun

Anyway mug at mac then under the void deck then at my hse until 6am. Then fell aslp in my room. The bastard here left witout fucking waking me up!! I needed to borrow ur HP!!

Crap. Anyway my hp is spoil. Haiz..................... Lost my warrenty card = no hp until dunno when....................................................................................

Woah i slept at almost 7 am. Pro.

Woke up at 12 and then finish my book " 5 people you meet in heaven"

Its damn nice

Here's a qoutation from the book

"Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person whio harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do ourselves"

It totally hit me. I have always been feeling angry, keeping lots of anger towards 1 person or maybe a grp of them. In the end, i always suffer for it. Guess i got to learn to forgive and forget.

Great book.

Btw i jus woke up again!! and its 7pm!

Gonna mug again at 11pm.

I've been slping at 4 to 5am daily. Dunno if i can keep tis up

Anyway ytd was a hectic day for me man.
Wen to sch for awhile to pass something.
Met up with dan and we wen out for awhile. Thx for the book man.
Dun owe u anything cause i paid for both ur meals.!! Biatch

Thx for cheering me up. Have been feeling really down. Dunno how to feel and maybe some ppl are really better off without me.

Well my relatives from KL came over and we chat till 1am - lots of stuff and it was the first time every1 was so open abt everything. All the girls cried. hahaha and i had to run ard passing them tissues. But it was nice meeting them.

In the end all 7 of them decided to stay over and they slpet in my room. I and my bro slept in the living room.

This morning played and talk wit them. It was really fun. LoL. showed them pics of me and my frens.hahaha

Anyway i hope viona is happy wit the guy if they are together ya. Happy for u. Hope this time things work out if it does happen =D.

Like i said - i think its best i'm not in certain ppl's life.

Its hari raya finally.
But sadly its one i and i guess my family dun look forward to
And its the first i cried.

Dun wanna tok abt it.

Earning are quite ok but i guess the money i wont be able to spend it on my own stuff. Not much anyway.

Anyway met up with cus and aunts and uncles who i've not seen for a long time.

Dunno why but i haven been feeling ok and gd since that day.

Well i guess i'll jus study and bleach to forget abt it all.

Night

I jus came back from a nice outing wit family
Aunt and Uncle came as usual. Love them

Had a great supper and a nice talk wit them
At least i noe this ppl will not......
At least there are ppl who treat me nice
So i can say i 'm lucky.
HAHAHA
Jian and dan and leo better to sia!

But seriously, after ytd night my day has really been fuck up. I get agitated damn easilyand ppl are asking me wat's wrong. I really dunno wat's wrong. I dunno why i shld get hurt over some.....
I know i shld not but why am i still thinking of it and that person to. Fuck it man. Must keep continuning watching bleach and things shld all be ok.

I hope.

I guess it was all my fault. I shld hav nvr tell her and jus keep it to myself. I guess i learn it thru the hard way. Better get hurt now rather then the future.

GD NIGHT World
I hate myself

I guess i am void of feelings and emotions man.
LoL
Oh well.

Haiz.

Really dunno wat to say here. Filled with mixed emotions but fuck! i hav none wat right!
Weeeeeeeeee

Opps think today i piss my mum and bro and dad. No wonder i'm alone at home =D
Well i'm always alone =D

Anyway viona hope u had a great bdae outing wit ur pals ya!
Happy birthday

This post gonna be a little longer then usual.
Had a great day wit my pals today
Dan jian and leo

Was suppose to meet up at 8.30
But the night before that i was mugging tilll 4.30am
Hahahahahhahaha
So i woke up late!!!! It was unintentional btw!

Anyway we were all late excpet for the big one. Sry ya u had to wait 20mins!
Mug at starbucks then bought tickets for the show Deathnote!
Was excited
but in the end the movie was ok only cause WE 4 READ THE MANGA ALR!
And i bought 4 couple seats cause the lady said it was the best seats at that time
I felt damn gay. Dunno how abt the rest.

Was fun though

Then the dota session came and we played for 4hrs!
The last game was the most tense and Dan got agitated !
hahahahahhaha
We lost to a team who uses gay combo. Really gay!!! Argh
But i think we can pawn them.
HMMMM

After tat we had to go
May not sound much fun but it was fun hanging out wit those 3 buggers!
Love dem to bits man!

Anyway, tmr's viona's bdae. Though she dun visit my blog
Here's a bdae shoutout to u!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
i know u'll hav a blast wit ur frens.
Haha i still rmb wat we did last yr.

And i found her pencil. Wen i went home, it was on my table =D

I jus realise that she still uses my pencil......
And hers is in my secret stach....

I think she could not be bothered to buy a new one or dun wanna waste money..

After so long, i finally met her again.
I was so damn nervous and i tell u, i was having diarrohea the whole day.
My hands and feets were like cold since morning wen i woke up

But i think everything wen ok, nah i think it wen great. Hope she like the bdae gift i got her.
I took a super long time making it. Haiz, if only the situation was different, everything wld hav been different.

I started missing her and i started feeling things i shld not.

Omg. haiz.

Anyway thx ed and rod for the company!!!

Crap i realised that i had to retype everything cause watever i type wat deleted.

Anyway today wen out shopping wit jian and leo. Thx guys for companying me.
The polo shirt is nice.

Anyway i decided not to retype everything but well i had fun tody and i am posted to the Army. Will be gg off on the 11 of jan man.
Hahaha

Anyway cant wait for tmr =D
ByeBye

That's my bro's in sch late at night!! Hahaha
To bad there was nth else in the pic =D









I lovE Tis post! Well taken pic! Kudos to whoever took it

After so long, so long. I finally can try to make amends of my wrong and right everything. Finally.

Hope it turns out well.

Wish me luck guys

Sometimes i wonder if ppl do appreciate the stuff i actually do.
Oh well.
It doesnt matter, i'm jus a nobody Right?

I slept at 3.30 - mugging and i woke up at 8.30
Edwin called me in the train tat lesson is at 12.30. Fuck man!
But nvm as usaul he always comes up with great ideas to kill the time =D
Y0u Rock

Met up wit jian and we mug. Did lots of mugging and i fall aslp awhile. Had a gr8 talk with him and ya bro, u noe wat, lets not care abt them. I am jus sick of tired of evrything. Dan thx for ur concern anyway.

OH YA KUDOS TO ZIJIAN FOR DOING MY BLOG! It wash really needing a new look and here it is! I love guitar!

And bro thx for helping me think of great bdae present. I hope wat i'll get tis wed is perfect =D
I'll do a longer post like wat he did for me and leo. In the meantime here's wat he tot of me and leo! http://www.bitterlycold.blogspot.com/

My day was totally unexpected
AT night.

Mum called me at ard 7plus. Telling me and my family to get ready cause my uncle is passing away. Omg i was so fucking speechless. For ur info i am super close wit my mum's side.

Then my other uncle came to fetch us and we drove for 1hr trying to find Bubur Terigu for my uncle cause he wanted it. Ccb so hard to find. Wen to tpy to shop, both dun hav - sold out. Wen to adam road - closed, bukit merah aread - cant find. In the end we wen to united square, luckily hav! We were like, shit shit shit not much time left.

Finally reach gradma hse, he requested to see one of us seperatly and haiz he cried while talking to me and i also! Oh my, he ask for forgiveness and all. Crap man. You noe wat i dunwanna tok abt it.

After the whole thing, uncle took lots of morphine we decided to go off. Then we had supper at newton and hahaahah it was so damn fun. We chat alot my other uncle family and mine. It was fun and i raelly love my family alot. At least that i dun hav to go thru unrequited love with them! hahahahahaha!

Oh fuck i think i need to go mug!
i guess i'll drop by bishan tmr.

Mum asked me to clean up my room cause it was in a mess. Now its damn neat. While gg thru my old sutff, yes those kinda stuff i ....... anyway i found a poem that i wrote which she will nvr ever get to read cause i'll nvr get the chance to let her.

Here goes

I jus did not know what happen, i was jus not prepared for it
I was totally dampen, what was it that i did
I jus want to touch your face and say that everything will be ok
That it could be saved and that it will all be ok
I cant say goodbye, not now , not ever
Cause without you, i cant surive now and forever

Is there a chance? Is there something to hold onto
Is there hope? That you'll come back?
That you'll come lying beside me, holding my hands so tightly
Whispering to my ear , saytihg that you'll nvr ever leave

I'm here without you, and i really dunno what to do
I tried telling myself that i could make it, without you
But you are still on my mind and in my dreams
But i jus could'nt find myself in your heart anymore
You decided to turn your back on me
And left me alone bleeding

I think it was not completed and i guess it will nvr be. I took my secret stash and put everything in it and i closed it in a manner that it could nvr be open again. At least i had one last look at everything. It was nice and sweet and certainly lovely.
I guess u'll nvr ever get to read this but tis for u. Thx for everything u gave me a chance to know wat love is like.
Goodbye

Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small
gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse
God puts us all
in each other's lives to impact one another in
some way.

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble
remembering how to fly

There is no beginning or end.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches

When the door of happiness closes, another opens
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one
which has been opened for us.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way

These brings back lots of memories

I dun believe in them anymore but i hope that can happen for me.
Haiz

Anyway its nice to hav Dan and zijian and leo to hang out together.haha. Like a every sat thing.
It was fun but fuck at the end of everything i had a very very very bad headache. Sry if i fell aslp while u all were talking.hahaha

Anyway, i am feeling kinda empty right now..Oh well..

My JC life is finally offically over. How do i feel? I really dunno but i really dunno why i'm feeling so sad abt it cause there's something missing. But i jus cant place my finger on it.

At least i manage to leave this sch with nice pics taken with ppl who i can call frens and hav a gr8 time with. Thx. Oh and ya got to thank my bro for getting for me that disposable camera.
Those are fonds memories i'll hav and take home with.

I still rmb the first bdae bash we had. In fact it was actually mine. I rmb buying with them fake blood pill and did not tell weijie and sufyan abt it. When they started the bdae bash, i started bleeding and they started to panic. Was so damn funny. Then it was Rod's bdae and Tik's bdae and we really had so much fun playing with the foodstuff!. HEy it was my idea to start tis bash thingy!!!only edwin manage to escape but he was always the 2nd target in the toilet =D

The toilet near the Pe dptm at the 1st and 2nd floor and the toilet near the gym are places i'll nvr forget.
The sch hall. Was also another great place. I rmb how scared shit we were. Hahahaha. Lucky i was having any block nose, if not we all wont be in sch anymore!!HAHAHAH.

I rmb gg back to sch on the day i had mc jus to hang ard with them. Then they wanted to leave sch but cant cause it wasnt 1.30 and we had to climb the sch gate. But then while we were climbing we got fucking caught by the police!! Hahahahahaha. but i had a fucking mc!!!!
I loved Sch.

But things change, alot! Slowly we drifted apart. Wat was the greatest grp was now nth. That's why jc life is the best and the worst. I found love in jc and then lose abt almost a yr later. Alot of stuff happen. Then things became worst due to some1 but nah, it was also my fault. Then wen i started to like some1 my life became more screwed up but tat's my feeling and no 1 can stop it. Then things all started to go real bad.

But it's weird, i always say i hate this fucking sch and esp wat happen made ME hate it more but i got kinda bonded to it. The frens tat i made and love but only to lose some of them. the things we got into. The trouble we caused. Those are things which are special and so unique and so unlike other grp of ppl. Those are stuff that really made an impact in my jc life.

I think i'm really no making sense here but i hope u all understand. Thx for everything k. Past present and future. I'll nvr forget my Jc life.

Ps: Thx leo and jian for everything!
5guysandamidget - though we are the past, i miss us alot. Sry things have to turn out this way.
Mel - i'm sure things will turn out ok and fine ya. I believe it will. Sry for all the problem and thx too. U take care.

It was a rollercoaster ride. The best i ever had

Time to forget everything and move on.
Start a new chapter in my life. No! Start a new book all together.

For those who vowed to fucking screw my life - Kudos to u guys man. U all did a superb job at it and not even a small trail was left behind. I salute u all.

Fucking hell i'm afraid to go near any female in sch. In fear that ppl might assume i am together with them. Fuck U. Omg if every1 were to think that way, i think i wld hav like tons of gf's esp in cjc. Yasmin that makes u my gf too! Woohoo. Fucking hell

I am sick of these shit. TMR MY FUCK UP LIFE IS GONNA BE OVER MAN. At least i hav edwin,jian and leo to call frens.

FUCk sia i cant even concentrate, studying has nvr been that tough man.

And Mel i am sry for the trouble tat i've cost u ok. Really did not mean it. I am sry if those fuck up's wanna say stuff. Its not true u and i noe it but i guess its affecting u bad. Things are not the same anymore i guess. I understand if u hate me right now. HEy guys congrats man! thx alot.

Whose next u wanna screw up in my life?

My day was fuck up. In sch esp. Ed thx for coming and keeping me occupied whole day. I wld hav seriously gotten myself into some trouble man. Was so fucking pissed

Hey leo happy belated birthday man. Sry if the celebration was pathetic. I waited till 7.10pm for u and zijian ! Omg !!

Hope the dinner and the GIANT EARTHQUAKE WAS NICE!
Least we manage to make ur day fun and special =D

But it has to be a sad one.

So many things left undone
So many thing i want
But i'm leaving it all behind
And I'm not feeling fine

The place where i've tot 2 met frens for life
Only 2 lose dem for a crime
I did not do
The place where i've found feelings once again
But only to lose the chance wen it started to rain

I'm leaving this place with a empty heart
Which i used to have
But only to fall apart
Wen that part of me left

Islife all that dark and blue?
Is lifenth but emptiness?
I really hav no clue

All i need is some1 to hold me once again
And whisper to me that everything will be fine
And hold my hand and lead 2 to the light
That i've lost sight


Haiz

Spidey's hammer
Hey Mel thx for the hammer ya. Appreciate it alot although it looks damn kiddish and embarrasing.
You noe how many ppl was starring at me wen i was letting the air out!!

Like alot. Thx.

Sch was actually ok. Time wen pass super fast. Did lots of work to.
Kinda tired but after sch hang out wit zijian and leo. Was nice.

Got home not in time to break fast. Was abt 30mins late. but oh well.
Gtg mug soon.

Anyway yasmin no need lend me tuesday with morrie the book alr. My bro gf lend me! =D

I was studying and i fell aslp. Woke up no 1 was at home.
Apparantly every1 wen out shopping and deicded not to bring me along cause i was slping!
Its very considerate but!!!

I need get new shirts. Oh well if my brother buy i can use his though.

Anyway the haze seems to be getting better. Crap! Wanted it to reach 300 so tat i can dun go sch. But guess i hav to endure the shit for 1 more week. Its only a week!

Brb.

The haze is really fuck up. My asthma coming back and been coughing again. Crap
Anyway today was a gd day
Met up with dan at 11 at bugis and we mug at NLB until abt almost 4 then we slack ard. Hahaha he saw his VJC frens and omg the girl hug him. So damn girly man and i felt so fucking weird standing beside him and ppl tot we were like some gay couples.

Oh and we manage to sneak in so Mel no need teach me how alr! But show me how ur style of sneaking in. Mine was damn stupid and i had to spent 40cents cause i had to open the locker twice cause i forgot to take my ipod and calculator.

Thx for the company bro, anyway tmr hope u are coming over. Then met up wit brother at town and we made our way to grandma hse (dad side) and i jus got home. Damn tired but i saw my cousin . Ya she's cute. Jus like nadya.

Wanted to watch the show stuck on u i think but then every2 was talking so loudly i can barely listen to wat they are saying.

I may not be slping tonight.......

Its 11pm and i jus got home. Tmr gonna mug in the morning with dan - i'm so screwed.
Lantern festival today and played with lantern with my cousin and uncle and bro. Damn hazy man. Almost died.

Wen to visit uncle and his condition is bad. Its sad to look at him like that. But....i guess i'll hav to learn to bear with it.I cant imagine how he feels man.

I haven been bullied for a long time and this time my bullly is so much younger then me. Nadya is a bully! I wen to shop 5times for her. Omg! Damn tired! Grandma's mee soto is the best! Its the best i ever tasted!!!!

Anyway enuf abt me.
Hey u, pls do get better ok. I'm really worried for u. I really am.I hope things really get better and i hope u'll feel better soon. abt everything. I dunno how long u'll take but dun drag it for so long. I may not noe everything or u well but it seems to be affecting u badly.
It may not matter to u or wat but i care, i really do.

Woah gonna hav a match later at midnite! I am gonna teach Leo frens a lesson man. Knn.hahaha
Oh ya i wen to NLB wit dan jus now and we fall aslp in the lib. Damn gay. Hope tmr we dun fall aslp again. So hopefully tmr there will be....=D
Thx to him now i feel like starting my comic hobbies all over again. Argh mus stop. Mus save money!!

I'll still wait.

Sch been ok. But it sux to be alone most of the time. Only hav zijian. Thx alot bro! Thx for always keeping me company. Really appreciate alot. Its kinda hard being alone all the time.

Today did a whole lot of study in sch. I am kinda brain dead now. Oh well at least tmr gonna go out! Sat also! This time i really hope the study thingy works out.

I am not sure if she visits my blog but ytd she chatted with me and she seems to noe some stuff tat is gg on, which i nvr tell her. Weird. Anyway if u are reading tis, thx for the song. Its really nice and it was nice chatting wit u again after so long. I hope things goes well for u and all.
On the other hand, i maybe jus to paranoid. I think i am. Like wat jian always say "u think to much la"

Hey sometimes i really cant help it man!
My grandad came over. Its kinda weird.

Anyway think i'll jus end here, wanna keep tis short and maybe jus a little sweet. Econs test sux!

PS: for ur info i do like bubu chacha and almond longan. hahaha

I jus finish reading a mail my mum send me abt ants eating ur brain and living in ur skull and causing u to die.

I'll copy and paste it here.
A little boy died because surgeons found ants in his brain! Apparently thisboy had fell asleep with some sweets in his mouth Or with some sweet stuffbeside him. Ants soon got to him and some ants in fact crawled into his earwhich somehow managed to go to his brain. When he woke up, he did notrealize that ants had gone to his head. After that, he constantly complainsabout itchiness around his face. His mother brought him to see a doctor butthe doctor could not figure out what was wrong with him. He took an X-rayof the boy and to his horror, he found a group of live ants in his skull.Since the ants are still alive, the doctor could not operate on him becausethe ants are constantly moving about. The boy at last died. So please becareful when leaving food stuff beside your bed or when eating in bed. Thismight attract ants. Most importantly, NEVER eat a sweet before going tobed. You might fall asleep and suffer same fate as the little boy.

Why it worries me
1) I like to bring food to my room and eat and drink infront of my computer or wen i'm reading
2)There seem to be some ants in my room
3)I've have been bad headaches for quite sometime.


So if next time i did not appear in sch for sometimes or i've not contacted u all for a long time. U noe wat happen. I shall stop eating in my room from today onwards.

Gonna go out soon

Haha
Yup,i'm suppose to be in sch but i pon! and its almost 11 and i jus woke up! Shit i better do some studying soon. Dun wanna waste my day.Slp was great. It rain heavily and i decided to enjoy the peaceful and cooling rain resulting me in waking up 2hrs later.
Hahaha

Hey u! Take Good care of urself ok! A'levels coming alr! I sms my teacher tat i was sick and she gave me an advice "take more vitamin c" hahaha u shld also do tat ok! Hope u are feeling better from everything =D

Ytd was kinda fun, zijian and leonard met up with danial. ahahaha. We studied for 2.5hrs and played for 3.5 hrs. I think its productive.hahaha. Dan u were super early la. Oh and we saw tis young couple making out in the libary. yes in the libary!!! Hahaha.

Breaking fast was damn weird. We broke fast by the side of the road. Everywhere was super crowded man. And i only had 1 burger and now i'm feeling the effects!!
Argh!! 8hrs more....

Anyway had a weird dream,weijie was nice. haaha. Miss all the lame jokes and the dirty chat with him. Oh well =D

Having a fucking headache. Tried to mug but cant even do some chem qns. Fuck it man. Maybe later will be better. Hopefully

Hey anonymous. Really got no idea who u are but i hav a hunch i noe who u are but den again maybe i got it wrong cause the way u type, the nice part is weird. So maybe my hunch is wrong!

Anyway wen i help others i obviously dun expect anything in return that is why its called help and doing a favour or anything. Maybe i expect them not to turn against me or watever, Maybe tat is asking to much? I dunno.

And not every1 wans to be help. U can try so much but it will nvr get thru cause the other party dunwan to be help or get help from u or i dunno wat. Having a fucking headache now. Cant think properly.

I'll jus help those who ask my help or need my help or watever. Its no point doing and goin the extra mile wen no1 cares or appreciate it right? Correct me if i am wrong.

Anyway are u some1 i noe? I hav had very bad experiences with anonymous so i hope u dun mind me probing on ur identity. Got into a fight in sch once cause of anonymous and was in trouble. Hahaha hopee u understand me being weary now.

Got to go buy grocery for mum for breaking fast. Hope to read ur reply .

Take Care